Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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