Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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