So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
