Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
