plz talk dirty to me
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Hippo gnu deer
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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