Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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