He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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