sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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