you have to choose: penises or morals?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
