Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Holy sore nipples Batman
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
