Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Randomize
