If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
