Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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