and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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