i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
