Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
