Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
