I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
