so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
