Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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