What did we do last night that was yellow?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
It's official drugs can't kill me
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize