winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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