no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
