If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
