that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
