how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
