it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
