I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
