So drunk, too bad you don't want this
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Need sex. Gaining weight.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Randomize
