so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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