We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
