he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
