whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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