people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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