A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
