i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
