YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize