you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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