the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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