Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Randomize
