I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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