I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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