I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
