So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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