worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
