Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
