Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
