i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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