We're like a lot better than the average bears
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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