its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
