Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
