So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
