But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
well you can't waste a boner
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
