I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
