I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Randomize