i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
