She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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